Most people think one of the worst things parents can do is fight in front of their kids. But that’s not necessarily true.

Talking Points:

  • It’s unhealthy to fight in front of your kids if you’re only yelling and screaming. Or, if you’re calling each other’s names. It’s also bad to model storming off and refusing to talk about the issues. Ephesians 4:29
  • It’s important to understand that the goal isn’t to not have conflict. The goal is to do it right. If you never fight in your marriage, that may be a sign that you’re not very invested in the relationship. Colossians 3:8-10
  • Healthy fighting means you have a conversation. You can state your opinions in a calm fashion. Listen and be respectful. You can disagree and still love each other.
  • Once you have the conversation, you move toward solutions. It s great for your kids to observe that there is growth and change from the conversation.
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What did your parents model for you about conflict growing up? How has the impacted your view of conflict as an adult?
  3. On a scale from 1-10, how bad is your communication with your spouse right now? What’s working? What’s not?
  4. Describe a time you fought in front of your kids. What do you think they observed about you? How about your spouse?
  5. Do you feel like you ever come to a resolution when you fight? Explain.
  6. Read Ephesians 4:29. How well do you do at following this verse? Why do people resort to insults in times of conflict? What damage can that do to a marriage?
  7. How do you usually feel after you’ve had an argument? Explain.
  8. Read Colossians 3:8-10. What are some of the bad behaviors you need to stop doing? What are some practical things you can do to put on your new nature in Christ that will help you in times of conflict?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?